The characters of Harry Potter discover muggle Twitter
by Katherine Julian
Summary: Titles self explanatory. Warning includes indiocy (Dammit! I meant idiosity! You see! I can't even spell it right! This is exactly what I'm talking about! Indiocy!) Rage moment there
1. Chapter 1

My movies been out and finished for over three years and the fanbase is still booming. I guess it's a good thing that some people don't 'Let it go'.

~Harry Potter

...

Last week the new students of Hogwarts decided to let me hang from the chandelier, again. Why is it always me?!

~Neville Longbottom

...

Being in France has given me the chance to immerse into the language. However, Ron doesn't feel the same. After I showed him Beauty and the Beast all he says now is 'le poisson, le poisson'. Ugh.

~Hermione Granger

...

Wondering if I can still plot Potter's demise and get away with it. Or do I just start a family? Which one is easier... Plotting, obviously.

~Draco Malfoy

...

Do you want cooked-men or ra-men? Get it? Get it?

~Ron Weasley


	2. Chapter 2

People are making fun of how short I am. They keeps laughing at how short I am compared to Ginny! I'll have you know that I'm taller than a twelve inch ruler!

~Harry Potter

...

Whenever people are down I simply cheer them up with my little phrase 'you're just as sane as me'. That sure gets a reaction.

~Luna Lovegood

...

Being in the wizarding world does have it's disadvantages. I've only left the muggle world for a week and found myself staring at a printer as if it was a newfound creature. I need to take a break.

~Hermione Granger


	3. Chapter 3

Ahhhhh! Touched a muggle today, voluntarily. Need to burn robes. Possibly hands.

~Draco Malfoy

...

Laughing at the images in your head... I mean pretending to be a muggle.

~Ginny Weasley

...

It's not winter. Right? Right?! Then Why Is It SOOOOO Cold?!

~Harry Potter

...

I don't understand. Whenever I go into muggle Disneyland, there's always a Norwegian redhead girl with a cloak and dress on, who keeps asking me if I want to build a snowman!

~Rose Weasley

...

August Rodin may have been the thinker, but I'm the winker.

~Ron Weasley


	4. Chapter 4

I'm going to kill you Harry Potter! I'm pointing my wand as hard as I can!

~Lord Voldemort

...

Why is it, at the final battle when I was fighting Voldemort, that no one just got a gun and shot him? He was occupied at the moment. It would have saved me a lot of energy!

~Harry Potter

...

Before we finished packing Hermione said I had bags under my eyes. I asked her if I had to check those bags in too.

~Ron Weasley


	5. Chapter 5

Mischief managed. Because I don't know anything else funny.

~Harry Potter

...

Went shopping today (I know, it's weird. But it kept nagging me) and throughout the store I felt like I wanted to eat ferret food. After apparating home, I found myself holding a bag of ferret food. I'm going nuts.

~Draco Malfoy

...

Snuck Malfoy some animal pasties. So now, whenever he's near the food store he'll have the nagging sensation to eat ferret food. Fred would have been proud.

~George Weasley

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Just thought of a ship name between me and Hermione. Nerve. Get it? Funny right? Right?! *Looks at reader crazily RIGHT?!

~Neville Longbottom

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How do you lose the weight in your eyes? Because the airport lady said my bags are overweight.

~Ron Weasley

...

That Neville's got a Long bottom. I made a funny.

~Luna Lovegood


	6. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT PREJUDICE AGAINST THE RACES DOWN BELOW. I ACTUALLY AM FRIENDS WITH THEM. IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THESE JOKES, LEAVE OR PM ME. IF THERE ARE ANY COMPLAINTS I WON'T CONTINUE WITH THOSE KINDS OF JOKES. I THOUGHT I'D TRY IT OUT. BTW, IT'S JOKE NUMBER TWO.**

* * *

Had a weird dream where all the house names were different. Slytherin was Slather-it-on. Hufflepuff was Huff-n-puff. Ravenclaw was Crabclaws, and Griffyndor was Puffs and smores. This is the last time I go to bed hungry again.  
~Ron Weasley

...

Chinese eat one-ton-men, Japanese eat raw-men, what do filipinos eat?

...  
Dober-men  
~Harry Potter

...

Stupid muggle device... won't let me see cute pictures of my snakes.  
~Voldemort

...

Who the heck is Blaise Zabini?! Where has he been in the last seven movies?! I mean seriously, you show up once in the whole series and you get a whole fanfic to yourself?! What?! Where's my fanfic?! I want my fanfic!  
*people slowly back away*  
~Ginny Weasley


	7. Chapter 7

a/n Because I don't follow rules (jk) I snuck this in.

* * *

Desperately trying to get over my addiction of Twitter. Not going to post for 20 minutes.

~Ginny Weasley

...

People say that I'm not funny, but I can make jokes too! Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh dangit, I already messed the joke up.

~Ron Weasley

...

Unlike my red-headed friend here, I can make really good jokes. What happens when snake fangs and porqupine come together? They end up poking eachother! Lol!

~Hermione Granger

...

Going to Antartica for work.

~Draco Malfoy

...

Screw waiting! Must! Have! Twitter!

~Ginny Weasley


	8. Chapter 8

I don't care if I'm in Antarctica. I don't care if I'm freezing my butt off. I WANT MY ICE CREAM!

~Draco Malfoy


	9. Chapter 9

Father decided he would test his brothers new joke invention on the neighbors dog. The toys name... Firecrackers. We couldn't get the dog out of the tree for FOUR hours. FOUR HOURS! I wish I was mum so I could wack him over the head for that.

~Rose Weasly

...

Me and Snape?! You guys are making fanfictions about me and Snape?!

~Hermione Granger

...

It is known that the fire-eating curse burns the bodies from the inside out. Vile things could happen to those who make bad ships.

~Severus Snape

* * *

What are the worst ships you've guys ever heard in Harry Potter? What's the best? DRAMIONE!


	10. Cliffhangers

**A/N: Hey leave a review to answer the question of the day!**

**Enjoy**

* * *

Cliffhangers? What Cliffhangers?

~Ginny Weasley

...

Don't talk to Ginny about Cliffhangers, unless you want her to Bat Bogey Hex you. The fanfiction she was just reading ended with the hero/brother coming ba-

*Ginny walks in to Rons' room

Ginny: DON'T TALK ABOUT CLIFFHANGERS! _Pugnat Patitur!_

The bats! AHHH THE BATS!

Ginny: Now when the hell is Chris gonna kiss Clary.

~Ronald Weasley

...

What the heck is McDonalds and why is there a man with red hair and a yellow suit following me around saying he's taking a 'selfie'. What the heck is a selfie?! I thought it was a Weasley following me for a sec but now I know that, that man is too crazy to be a Weasley. What the hell is going on here?!

~Draco Malfoy

* * *

**What is the most annoying cliffhanger you have ever read? **


	11. Chapter 11

I didn't mean to kill her! I'm sorry! No not the bat-boogey hex! NO! I KNEW YOU LIKED THAT STORY! PLEASE GINNY PLEASE! I WAS ONLY JOKING! IT WAS A MISTAKE! A MISSTTTTTTAAAAAKKKKEEEE!

Ginny: Ronald Weasley I Am Going To Kill You!

~Ronald Weasley

Here's another attempt:

A panda goes into a restaurant, eats, shoots at the waiter, and leaves. The waiter says to the panda, "Hey man you can't just do that here." The panda replies," Dude I'm a panda. Look me up." So the guy pools out his dictionary and reads,' pandas. Animals of Asian descent. Eats shoots and leaves.'

Get it?!

~Hermione Granger

* * *

A/N: snicker snicker... Would you like a snickers?


	12. Chapter 12

Seriously, when in the series was I ever called Mia? Or Mi? Or even Flicka?! Is this the product of laziness? Did the author change my name?!

~Hermione Granger

...

Sniverus. Sneverlus. Sinverlus. How the Hell did James pronounce my name?!

~Severus Snape


End file.
